First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
