Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
