her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
