Soap is not a condiment
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
