Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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