jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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