i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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