i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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