Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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