We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
