wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize