i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
