There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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