Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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