Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
