Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
