Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
