it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
