I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
