I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
