I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
