Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i out mim tonsoeep
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