Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
