During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
