Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
