Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
