I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize