well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
