1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
