Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
