That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
