my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
