I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
