If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
