Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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