so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize