CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
