good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
