I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize