One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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