Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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