Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
