i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize