it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize