Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize