I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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