White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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