You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
