After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to have your abortion
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
