So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize