she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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