You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
