she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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