I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
