dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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