big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
