Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize