i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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