so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
