I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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