Small penises have feelings too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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