I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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