Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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