Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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