Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
